Sunday, October 22, 2006

Hmmmmmm!!

I love hearing jokes but I always manage to screw up the punchlines. So this one-liners are great!

Hmmmmmm!!
  1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  2. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  3. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  5. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  6. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
  7. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  8. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced tenty one?
  10. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
  11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
  12. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
  13. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
  14. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  15. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
  16. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
  17. OK ... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
  18. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea. Does that mean that one enjoys it?

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